For the second time in my life I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. That’s not to say I’ve never been where I was supposed to be, but prior to going to college, I never even thought about it. Something most people don’t know is that when I was a senior in high school, I only applied to the University of Central Florida (most people don’t know because I found out later that’s really not a good way to apply for college). I don’t remember how I found out about UCF because it certainly wasn’t as popular then as it is now (and it’s still not that “popular” as colleges go), but the minute I heard about it, something inside me whispered “that’s your school”. I applied, I was accepted, and never even visited the campus until 4 months later when I went to find housing. That was the best decision I never made. I had an amazing time at UCF, grew as a person, figured out my career path and ultimately met the love of my life, BFDC J.

When I left UCF, I did the same thing that got me there. Applied for one job and got it. But this time something was different. When I moved to Tallahassee, almost immediately I knew something was wrong. I had happy moments, I met good people, I even had good experiences, but I was miserable. I would wake up every morning and feel out of place. There were times when I literally felt like the city (yes, the whole city) was rejecting me. I read countless books, listened to countless speakers, joined community organizations, but I still felt like I was in exile and had no idea why. The worst part was every attempt I made to leave did not pan out. I went from being miss “one and done” to miss “can’t even get an interview” or if I did get an interview, miss “you are so talented, we have no doubt that you are going to be successful… just not with us”.

A few months before I knew I was leaving, I finally began to see the good in my time there. I noticed how much I had really grown, matured, and developed. I thought about all the weeds God had pulled from my spiritual garden. I began to appreciate the many lessons I’d learned about who I am, what I’m capable of, what I’m willing to do, what I’m not willing to do, who I do or don’t want in my life, what the best of me looks like, and what the worst of me looks like. I also realized that even in “exile”, God was still working his purpose for my life, because it was while I was there that I got the vision to make BFDC what it is today and will be in the future.

Living your purpose has everything to do with following what God has placed in your heart and nothing to do with chasing your dreams. In these uncertain times, everyone wants to feel useful. Many people want to believe they have worth. They want to believe they matter to someone and they are loved. This yearning to matter then leads people on a quest for greatness. Surely if I am great, I will matter to the world. Surely if I matter, people will want to be around me. Surely if people want to be around me, I am doing good things. Surely if I am doing good things people will acknowledge me and my deeds. Surely if people acknowledge me and my deeds… I am great. This is the cycle that occurs when you chase your dreams. You pursue them in such a way that it makes the journey meaningless because you always have the end in mind. The journey is merely a means to an end, and anything other than your desired end equates to failure.

On the contrary, when you follow what God has placed in your heart, you can’t begin with the end in mind because the end is completely dependent upon the journey. For example, if Johnetta B. Cole had decided early on that she intended to be the 1^st black woman president of Spelman College by 1987, would she have moved to Liberia in 1960? If Oprah had decided that her life’s purpose was to open a leadership academy for girls in South Africa, would she have spent more 25 years as an American Talk Show Host?

However, if either of these women had not lived their lives according to their passions, they may never have fulfilled their purpose. Both of them realized dreams that were dramatically greater than their paths would suggest they ever imagined. Also, at any point prior to reaching these higher goals, they could have stopped and been considered successful. But when you live your purpose, you realize that your life’s work is not complete unless it is the work of your life.

Seeing it from that perspective, it was much easier for me to be FEARLESS in my move to Indianapolis even though I didn’t have any friends here. Now I’ll be honest, even though I was fearless, I wasn’t entirely sure. This time I applied to jobs in 4 different states but only got two call backs… both in the Indianapolis area. So it was clear that this was the place, but I still tried to negotiate with God because I thought I had pretty compelling reasons not to come here. But as usual, there is no negotiation with God. His was response was pretty simple, “either you go there or you stay here”. So I packed my things and the rest is… present day J.

Being in tune with what God has placed in my heart is the only reason I can confidently follow the path He laid for me, even if it takes me to places I think I don’t want to go. I may not know where the path is leading, but I realize that my purpose lies in the trails I blaze and ways He makes, not in the destinations I plan for myself.

Proverbs 3: 5-12 (The Message Translation) – Trust God from the bottom of your heart;  don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give Him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline; don’t sulk under His loving correction. It’s the child He loves that God corrects;  a Father’s delight is behind all this.

By: Sandra Miles